I guess it is not surprising that Monster House for the GameCube does absolutely nothing with its excellent source material. The movie is actually willing to make a few daring aesthetic choices, a concept foreign to most game publishers whose movie-to-game conversions tend to be lucrative but uninspired. This fate is not uncommon, and when placed next to its superior big brother, Monster House the video game clarifies why we hate licensed games.

When you hear that Monster House emulates the style of Resident Evil 4 but takes place inside of a living, breathing house, you may think that the game has a few interesting concepts in store, or at least some diversionary fun. Three minutes of playing will correct that idea. The game starts in the hallway of the giant house (skipping the first fifty minutes of the movie's plot) wherein you must avoid a giant wooden throat and a tongue formed from the stairway carpet. At first glance this seems to be a promising set up, but after you dodge the organs and enter the next room the game forgets that it takes place inside a living creature at all.

The gameplay now focuses on living chairs that pull themselves out of the floorboards and attack you. That, in one sentence, is the game. I may have left out the squirt-guns, the three identical playable characters, and the featureless bosses, but they add very little to the basic premise. The high concept devolves into a mere shoot-em-up that occasionally requires you to search for a poorly hidden key or, in true Resident Evil homage, a book that must be placed on a stand to open a secret passageway. The game emphasizes simplistic enemy combat over any sort of “design."

As you progress through endless rooms filled with endless wooden enemy footstools you will wonder aloud why the house hasn't woken up and why the game hasn't actually started. The developers have gone to significant effort to create a detailed house that looks and sounds alive, but they fail to explore its gameplay potential. Take for instance a room you encounter halfway through the game: you open a door to discover that you are standing on the wall of a sideways room. This moment seems to be leading somewhere, as though you must solve a puzzle to place the room right side up. Throw that idea or any other idea out the window. You merely enter through Door A, look at the sideways room, then exit through Door B. This room exemplifies the game's flashy yet inert design.

Monster House rips off Resident Evil 4 unequivocally but ruins each of its methods: the button configuration is awkward, as is the camera placement; the enemies are plentiful but not challenging or scary; the level design is repetitive; there are only a few bosses and they are all killed using the only weapon in the game, a squirt gun; and finally, and most egregiously, it isn't fun. Not even for a minute. The game sticks too closely to an established formula and ignores its own inspiration, but even this would be forgivable if the game actually respected that established formula.

Monster House wants to be Resident Evil for Kids, but a child would learn more and have a better time with Resident Evil 4 than with this manufactured tripe. Licensed games like this are cruel because they prey on young people who love a book or a movie so much that they want to experience more of it. Without a little education, these children may grow up to think that every video game is as unimaginative as Monster House.