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He's this many! (Holds up six hands.)

by Jonathan Metts - July 28, 2002, 11:02 am EDT

Holy crap, Billy just turned thirty! Now he can get all of his medical testing supplies from Liberty Medical with no out-of-pocket costs!

31 Smacks on the Bottom in Talkback!

Billy Berghammer, Founder and Director of Planet N2000/Planet GameCube, turned thirty years old on July 27, 2002. Let us all mourn.

Many of you probably don't know the real, fascinating story behind Billy's rise to success. He was born in the backwoods of Louisiana to poor, uneducated parents who thought these new-fangled "computers" would soon take over the world, so they built a fallout shelter made of concrete blocks and spit, and this is where Billy spent most of his early childhood. At the age of seven, young William hitched a train to Idaho, where a young childless couple adopted him and enrolled him in school for the first time. Bill excelled in academics and eventually graduated and entered the University of San Fransisco with a major in Performing Arts. Unfortunately, he was soon expelled after being "framed" for several sorority panty raids.

Well, to make a long story short, Billy's boredom and unemployment led him to the Internet, where he instantly became a famous game journalist. As you can see, he's really come a long way, so it's quite sad that we have so few years left with him. Here's to you, Billy!

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