When a linebacker sacks your quarterback and then tells him about his pretty mouth, you know you’re not playing just any football game. NFL Blitz 2002 (or you can stick a hyphen in there somewhere if you’re a corporate lackey) is the newest game in Midway’s famous series, and the first to appear on GameCube. After spending a few days with the new Blitz, I can make two preliminary conclusions: it’s a very fun game, and I suck horribly at it. Chalk it up to my general lack of sports skills, but I just can’t seem to win. Oh well, it’s still a blast to play, and to be fair, I’ve had a few close-calls where my friend would kick a field goal at the last second to win.

I’m assuming everyone has played Blitz or at least understands the basic concept of extreme no-rules football. Blitz 2002 brings several new features to the series, and despite my initial fears, they don’t move the focus over to simulation at all. The developer, Point of View, was pretty successful in making Blitz a little more deep without making it too deep (and thus into Madden/NFL 2k territory, where it simply can’t compete). I do think Blitz isn’t as over-the-top as it used to be, but maybe that’s just my desensitization from having played it over so many years.

Anyway, the major new feature is the impact player. Independent of what play you choose to run on offense, the impact player can be set to perform several different actions. This effectively lets you customize plays on the fly; you can set up a Hail Mary but have the impact man run a sweep. After the playbook screen but before you snap the ball, you can also use the control stick to move the impact player back and forth. My friend and I generally do so to protect the QB from a defensive blitz, but there may be other uses as well. So far I haven’t gotten into using the impact guy too much, but he’s obviously an interesting addition and one that advanced Blitz fans will probably really appreciate.

Graphically, the game is above average but not great. Framerates seem to be stable, which is a relief from the often chunky N64 versions, but the player models and stadiums are not all that detailed. Animation ranges from so-so to hilarious, but I’m seeing the same animations every game. If there are over 1,500 motion-capped moves included (as the box claims), why do I see the same three after-play tackles over and over? Why does the kicker always do “the Worm” after making a field goal? Touchdown victory dances seem to be pretty varied, but otherwise I’m a little disappointed in this area. Every now and then I’ll notice a guy limping around after a brutal play. Most of the new animations seem to be pretty subtle like that, and Blitz is not and shouldn’t be a game of subtlety. I want to see power-bombs after a QB sack. When players talk trash, I want to see them making hand gestures and/or throwing punches. But maybe I ask for too much.

Thankfully, Blitz’s sound is in a whole other tier of goodness. My neighbor rented the PS2 version a few weeks ago and I got to hear some of the brutally funny commentary, but it’s even better when you sit down for some serious time with the game. The commentary is basically a giant excuse to make fun of John Madden and other shit-for-brains sports people who, if they actually know anything useful, choose not to share it with the audience. Rather than paying much attention to what’s actually happening in the game, Blitz 2002’s commentators share an ongoing banter about such topics as, “If the ball carrier hadn’t been tackled, he would have gained some yardage.” The best one-liner comes from Bill: “Now that’s football.” Thanks for the enlightenment, buddy. If you absolutely hate moronic sports commentators, Blitz will have you rolling in the floor with laughter. The players also have spoken lines, but with one or two exceptions (including the one in this article’s abstract), most of theirs aren’t nearly as amusing as what’s going on in the pressbox.

So far I’m having a lot of fun with NFL Blitz 2002. For all intents and purposes, it’s the same game as the original NFL Blitz on N64, which I played extensively last year to relieve final exam stress. Still, fans of the series or those who haven’t tried it out before should check out the newest version, because it looks to be the best. Blitz 2002 isn’t a huge technical achievement by any means, but the added depth in this year’s installment looks to extend the game’s playability beyond previous versions’ “arcade syndrome”.

On a final note, I’m having trouble making the game save my player records after an Exhibition game. If anyone has Blitz 2002 for GameCube and knows what I’m doing wrong, please email me so I can sort this out before my final review.