Karl shares his memories of the night he got his DS.
"What do you mean you won't take it?"
"It's not in the system. I can't take it."
"… Can I just leave it here?"
"… No."
Okay, sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself.
It was Christmas 2005 in not-really-that-sunny Miami, FL, and there I stood at the counter of the GameStop off of US Route 1 and 160th Street with an enormous stack of old review games. Fight Night Round 2, Pokemon Emerald, Ghost Recon, Batman Begins - basically, think of a game that got a 6/10 and I probably had it in there.
Why, you ask? For a DS, of course. Being in high school, without a job and being a Staff Writer in decent standing, mediocre games were the only resource I had to exploit. Sure, I was probably getting about half of what the games were really worth, but I didn't care. They had Mario Kart. They'd already won.
The thing is, I had one other game. And that was Kong: The 8th Wonder of the World on the GBA.
Don't remember that one? Here's an excerpt from my review back in the day:
"…I think it’s easier if I just come right out and say it; Kong: 8th Wonder of the World is boring. It’s not necessarily broken – not in the sense that one of its features is underdeveloped, at least. It’s a fully-functional action / adventure game that does exactly what it promises. The big problem is that, while everything works, it’s tedious, dull, and lacking any sort of excitement that the console game is supposed to have."
Yeah, that's the one. The game straight-up stunk. Its only saving grace was that it functioned as a piece of software. Beyond that, I don't really have anything nice to say about it.
In any case, it didn't even matter that the game bored me to tears - I was there to trade it in for cold hard credits to put towards a shiny red Nintendo DS Phat. And I had more than enough games to trade in, too. Even so, GameStop found a way to annoy me. So let's get back to it, shall we?
"We can't take this."
"What do you mean you won't take it?"
"It's not in the system. I can't take it."
"…Can I just leave it here?"
"…No."
I had to try, though. This game was so offensive I didn't even want it in the house, lest it infect my precious DS with its filthy mediocrity. So when I left, system in hand, I slyly "forgot" to pick the cartridge back up. I was almost at the door when…
"Hey!"
"Hm? Yes?"
"Don't leave your litter here!"
And he threw the cartridge at me. Hit me square in the nose. Clearly it'd been a mistake on his part, because the following exchange took place:
"Oh God, I'm so sorry, man."
"Eh, it's a piece of plastic."
"I'm so, so sorry. Oh, man."
"…If you let me leave it here we can call it even?"
"…Okay."
Then I went home and played Mario Kart. It was a nice night.