Please use the nearest fire escape next time

In which Matt fails to empathize with an emotionally scarred child.

The reaction may not be divisive, but that's reserved for the murder anyway.

Get it? Like Conquest! Yeah, you get it

This was the Wednesday Direct you were looking for, right?

The number of games Donald wants this week is somewhat close to the Three Hopes body count.

Bayonetta is going in the flea dip.

Wait, can you use your hands in this game? Why is everybody using their hands? Have I misunderstood soccer?

Your soothing and sugary new puzzle obsession.

The bar was low, but our boy Geoff is a master of limbo.

The year is 2022, and the closest thing we have to Metroid Prime 4 news is still Metroid Prime: Federation Force.

Gotta snap... about a third of 'em.

We start the march to the next 300 episodes with a fun one. We get into Neon White, Wonder Boy Collection, Ys IX, plus much more!

As far as reunions go, this is one of the better ones.

Shouldn’t the ice cream bar be serving Heavenly Hash?

There’s nothing half-shell about this upbeat, nostalgia-fueled brawler.

Half good, half I've played before

We know more characters are coming, but who could they be?

For those wondering why a certain game gets re-released, well...

The news desk is currently having flashbacks to the 4 Ultimate endgame