As I looked through my Google Alerts for Pokémon over the past couple of weeks, I’ve stumbled upon quite a few interesting articles. Some of them discussed how the games were bringing together religious groups. Others discussed what it could teach players both young and old. Some articles even suggested the game’s characters gave solid life advice. I just don’t see how the new generation of Pokémon games have brought all these people to the same conclusion. It’s absurd. 

I will admit that the games force people into using a bit more strategy than they would in real life. Determining what types of Pokémon your party will consist of and figuring out how to go about collecting them all can give your brain muscles a solid exercise. Hell, I’ll even admit that the games make you style conscious. Maybe this can translate into players’ real lives by forcing them to look at themselves in the mirror and thinking twice before leaving the house in pajama bottoms and a hoodie. Maybe some players went out and bought some pants that actually fit them. Maybe they even picked up a few collared shirts. But Pokémon X and Y changing lives? That’s just silly. 

Some articles are claiming it’s bringing people together in a major way. These articles are saying that since Pokémon X and Y were released worldwide simultaneously that it brought players together as a whole. Now I understand the sentiment, but I think that’s just insane. Have I contributed to a few websites that didn’t know if Scizor could participate in air battles? Maybe. Have I talked to people all over the world in the first few weeks the game was released in an attempt to gain more information? Sure, who didn’t? But this whole “changing the world” thing is just bananas. 

Scizors can't participate in air battles. Just so you know.

Friends, I’m not sure if you’ll believe me when I say I’ve read an article that claims that Pokémon X and Y is responsible for them losing weight, but I hope you do. Some writers claim that the game forces them to look at their character and realize how little exercise they’re getting while they watch their avatar battle the elements as they run across the Kalos region. This has got to be the most farfetched thing I’ve ever heard. Nobody loses weight because of video games. I’ve lost a few pounds recently, but that’s no one’s accomplishment but my own. Sure, I’ve been playing Pokémon on the treadmill. And yeah, I’ve only been going to the gym to find time to play Pokémon for extended periods of time. So what? It’s just a game. 

This whole “Pokémon changed my life” thing is going to fade soon, mark my words! Then everyone who wrote one of those articles is going to look quite silly. Just you wait, Internet! I bet they’ll feel pretty silly once they realize how preposterous their articles sound.